Friday, August 27, 2010

The Break and the Malaise

     YEAH! Internet access.

     So, it has been a month since I have written anything.  The last two weeks has been laziness and the entire month of July and part of August was because of lack of computer or reliable access to internet service.  But it feels good to be writing and today I want to write about breaks.  Not the kind of breaks like something got destroyed in a physical sense, but break in the way of...well, taking a pause in something.

     One thing that I have discovered about summer vacations is that they are not the same, for me,  as they used to be, when I was a child.  It used to be fun, getting out of school and just playing all time and not having any much responsibility.  I remember that we used to travel as a family and do a great  many things.  However, now that I have returned to school, as an adult, I don't view this break in the same way, especially this summer.  It isn't that I have more or less responsibility than I did before.  This break was different in that I wasn't in summer school, like I was at community college.   I didn't travel. I didn't do anything "interesting".  I didn't do anything but work.  I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere, learning anything and could feel myself kind of falling away.  And all summer, I couldn't wait until school started again.  And here it is and I embrace it with open arms.  And I wasn't sure why, at first.  Then, the answer hit me.

     It is in the doing of something that we enjoy or a goal that we wish to pursue that gives us meaning.  It could be anything like being a parent, working a good job, being a better partner or person.  It could be traveling or bettering yourself through some type of education (ie. taking a class in pottery).  Whatever that "thing" is, the happiest, most fulfilled and successful people I know found it.  I want to ultimately find mine.

     Until then, school will suit me juuuuust fine.