Friday, October 8, 2010

Why are we making Christianity unsexy?

     HOLA!  This is two small posts in one.  They kind of flowed together so I kept it as is.  I originally posted this on 7 October 2010, but did some revisions/corrections.  So, if you saw this before, this is why it looks different.

     To hear some people tell it, all Christian women should dress in billowy clothes that hide their figures, read bible verses all day and hope that some man will deign to look and see their inner beauty.  Don't exhibit any sexiness at all. That is how they did it in the Bible, right?

     I call garbage!

    I graduated from a Christian academy. I remember that the ugliest girls in my school were still ugly and dateless, the hottest girls still got dates and the average ones were doing the best they could.  Going into their adult lives, many remained single, if they didn't find a man by the time they left high school or college.  One trait they had in common was that they all tried to land their man by any means possible, within reason (Let's study the Bible together.  By the way, I made some carrot cake.  You say that's your favorite?  Wow! I didn't know . . . *in head high five*).  Left to muddle through of their own devices, they do what they can.  What this has resulted in is a good deal of single ladies (and men) in the church.  All you have to do is look around at many of the churches today and see how many single people there are or see how many people have just given up on finding a man/woman in church.

     Why is this?  It is because many "true" Christian churches don't teach their women to be sexual or how to righteously attract a mate.   Now, there is a difference between being sexual and being slutty.  Classy/Trashy.  You get it.  We as humans are sexual beings.  If it wasn't meant to be this way, well, we would be extinct.  There are always ways to be sexual without over exposure.  But it is o.k. to put a little tease on the table.  And if you don't believe the need for this kind of teaching, all you have to do is look at the "worldly" competition.

     Speaking of the world, I am always amazed by my friends who "find" religion.  Or, better yet, those who "rediscover" religion after having taken in all the world had to offer and rejecting it.  Especially those that have attracted your mate/spouse or reached a certain point in life, good or bad. After you see the "world" isn't what you thought it was, you ran back to your Faith.  That's cool, I guess.  However, to me, this usually  happens when you have used the tools you learned out "in the world" to get what you wanted. It's kinda like the minority who makes it to the top and then wants to take away affirmative action (Clarence Thomas).  Then you will evangelize to the world about the "evils" of it all, especially when talking to, and about,  your gender mates.  Usually, this will be women talking about/cutting down other women's actions in a very non-Christian way.

      But, instead of taking a judgmental tone, perhaps it should be instructional.  You may be the person who made mistakes and wants to help people not make them.  You may be the person who feels they lived a righteous life.  Either way you could be helping your friend/church congregant/gender mate with insights about showing how they could do better without belittling them.  Oh, wait, did you forget that all of this is a journey?  Let me help you with that.

     Why such a harsh tone?  Because all religions like to emphasize the great and forget the bad happened.  But as a Christian, I remember that our religion was founded by the wounded.  I remember that there were prostitutes, killers, adulators and polygamists in our past who found their way.  By passing instant judgment like you never "sinned" is an affront to the very tenant of this religion. Before you take the twig out of your neighbors eye, take the tree out of yours(and the stick up you ass while at it). 

     Especially when you were in the club on Friday/Saturday and in church Saturday/Sunday.  Oh, you forgot?  Let me help you.  And you wonder why they call many Christians hypocrites.

Breast Cancer Awareness and Why you shouldn't be worried


     This post will offend two people, in particular.  To those people, read this with an open mind, then judge for yourself.  To everyone else, this post will take a left curve.  I hope you enjoy.

***End Warning***

     I love Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  I always feel attached to it.  Why?  Because I love the female breast.  I do, with NO APOLOGIES.  I am straight, however, even gay men love the breastises.  I won't go any more graphic than that.  But anyone who knows me in IRL (in real life) knows how  I feel about the female form.  My mom has breasts and she gave me life and fed me from those things. So, what is there not to love?

     On a serious note,  I have a friend who's mother died of breast cancer, fairly recently.  She is religious (Christian) and prayed for her mother.  But, I guess it was  her time to go (God decided or let it happen).  My friend has been all about breast cancer awareness.  She does the walks and she shares the news.  She is  a new convert (think about your friend who just stopped smoking or just losta great deal of weight/adopted a healthier lifestyle).

     Well, if you have a Facebook/MySpace/E-mail, you are probably aware that, for the past few years, there has been a gimmick to make people more aware of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Last year, it was "Put the color of your bra in your status".  This year is "Put where you like to put your purse when you come in from work".  You can find a link to an article explaining it here.

     Well, said friend feels that it is a mockery of "The Fight" and as a Christian woman, it demeans all women of Faith.  She feels that breast cancer is not sexy and should not be put in such a light.  Several of her friends made the same comment.  They feel it is unbecoming of a Christian woman and is misleading, causing people to lust in their hearts and advocate women of Faith not to participate.  At this, I have to draw a line in the sand and call bullshit.  The following is an open letter to her.

Dear Friend,
     Right now is a really tough time for you.  My heart bleeds, know of the pain that you go through, everyday, knowing that your Mother was taken away from you before the time that anyone was ready for.  I wish I could share your pain, but I can't, because your experience is unique and I would not insult you by pretending that I know otherwise.  I don't know the pain of having to explain what death is to two young children or comfort the emptiness that you have.  All I can do is be the best friend that I can be, when you need me.  That is what this poor sinner will do.

     But to pass judgement on people who are trying to bring a light-hearted face to a very serious cause is beneath you.  Right now, it runs counter to what you feel. Your mother was a victim of this terrible disease.  But, by condemning those people, you belittle the people that have survived and use humor to deal with a very serious cause.  I want you to look at the woman who is getting a double mastectomy. She sees a major sign of her womanhood lost forever.  Tell her that she can't be sexy any more.  Tell the woman who went through/is going through chemo and is stuck with the stigma of a cancer patient that it is not o.k. to make light of her situation.  I point this last one to you.  I followed you through your family's struggle and I KNOW that your mother tried to make the best of a bad situation.  This current way was not her way, but I don't think your mother would have been so harsh on people trying to shed light on serious thing. 

     Who cares, if some men, think it is sexual.  When they find out what it is about, they are most likely to back you vs not having cared in the first place.  Doesn't a cracked vessel not still carry water?  And truth be told, if your pastor/fellow church congregants/church leaders read that in your status and the first thing they thought about was where you "like *sex* wherever",  this is not an issue for me or the public, but for you and them and your husband.  Please don't love me any less for this, I am just trying to bring a little different perspective to you.

With all Love and Respect,


P.S.  To argue from a religious standpoint that this is wrong . . .I have another point reloaded for you in three days.  It just needs to finish cooking in the kitchen.